Happy Birthday Lane

even though it is 11/25 right now it is in the wee hours of the morning and im still up. so i will say here how blessed i am that God gave Brian and I Lane on 11/24/08!! i cant believe how fast time has flown. you are such a great little boy and i love everything about you!!! even when you cry i know there is a reason for it and im here for you in every way!!! It has been a fun and exciting year and im looking forward to what the next year will bring. Thank you Lord again for giving us such a wonderful little guy to love!!!

This time a year ago....

Well I have to appoligize....its been a long, long time... Ive been busy but that really isnt a good excuse...i guess that i would just have to say that im on facebook a lot more than here. but im back and everything is going great. we are now officially moved into our new house and love it sooo very very much!!

as the title states, this time a year ago i was getting ready for Lane to make his big arrival. i cant believe it has already been a year. i honestly dont know where the time has gone. i just thought the time flew with kaelynn.....it has gone by with lightening speed with Lane!!! i new that Lane would be born on 11-24 from the time i was about 24wks. Dr wilson wanted to have a date in mind since i was a gest diabetic and he was not going to let me go to 40wks with him just like he didnt let me with kaelynn. im glad i didnt with him, especially since he ended up graphing 40 already and was 8-14!! i have no problem believing that he would have been a 9lb baby if i had gone the extra 5days to my due date! and that morning i was already going into labor as i was starting to contract and i think my water was starting to leak. so i was time....either by induction or by nature. anywho...this time last yr i remember thinking, wow...3 more 12hr shifts and then 1 day off and the next i will be a mother of 2... it really just seemed natural, i wasnt scared, but ready. im not quite sure why i wasnt a little bit apprehensive, but i just wasnt. it just seemed as if it was ment to be. the only thing i was unsure of the upcoming winter season with all the RSV and bad bugs out there, but as far as being ready....i was. i just keep thinking about how blessed i am, both of my children are true blessings!!! both were so wanted and so worth anything i went through (even all those blood sugar checks) being pregnant. My husband is my true love and best friend and i would be totally lost without him. Thanks Lord for all of my many blessings in the past year, both big and small....

Thank you Jesus!!!

well...i will say it again....thank you Jesus!!! never...ever...doubt the power of prayer!! our house has been on the market a grand total of 18 days and we have had 3 offers on it!!!! 1 last week that we countered on and 2 today!!! the one last week was enough to just make us mad. those ppl....grrr....but im happy to report that we went with one of the ones from monday and today will sign the papers to place it under contract. we now have a closing date of 8-28...the same day we close on our other house!!! how freakin AWESOME!!!! im really excited....im sooo very happy that we are not going to have to use our bridge loan that we spent the time to get qualified for...that would have ATE us alive!!! so we are getting all ready for our new house!!! it is wonderful to feel that we are finally moving "home"...and im not sure why we feel that way but we have both felt that way about this house since the day we say it for the first time. and it is wonderful to feel this way. thanks again Lord!!!!

we have found THE house....

alright it has been one hell of a week. that is really the only way to describe the utter craziness going on at my house. in a matter of two weeks everything that we dont absolutly have to have on a daily basis has been packed and placed in storage and might i add that two ppl sure can accumulate A LOT over the course of 8 years!!! so we put our house on the market last thursday 7/16 and as of the end of today we will have had 9 showings!!! wow!!!! we are totally excited about that. we went to see our realtor on monday and she suggested an open house this weekend so tomorrow...sunday we have our first open house and lets just pray that it is the last and that we get an offer....because we have found THE house. Teri warned us about that, she said..."so now what happens when you find the house and yours has not sold yet?" i told her that i was really not wanting to do a bridge loan but would consider it if it was something that we could not turn down. welp, it was just that. it is at 3214 Ridgecrest and it is BEAUTIFUL!!!! it has a pool, has been recently remodeled and has new hot water heater!!! there is more but too much to type, needless to say we are approved for a bridge loan but hope we dont have to use it. the ppl pushed back the closing date until 8-28 so we are hoping we can get our house sold. that gives us six weeks from yesterday. PLEASE say some prayers that this house sells so that we are not in that situation....although it was something that we could just NOT pass up. we are soooo excited!!! so very very excited!!! but this last week we did have to paint my NAVY living room....it is now...."tattered sail"....ugh i hate white, but as Teri keeps reminding me ...it is not your house anymore, it is the house you have for sale. so i just have to keep repeating that as we have been changing it from the house i have loved. i know the new one will be worth it in the end, but it is still a change. the only reason that we changed the navy anyway was b/c the first two ppl that saw it were like " well we love it but that den sure is dark...." my thinking was...hey its just paint and thats cheap, compared to the $700 water heater i just put in, but apparently that was not the general consensus, oh well it is now totally NEUTRAL...and all my family and i included still love that beautiful blue. i mean it gave the house character. oh well. say some prayers i will let everyone know as so as i hear something and can find my way to my computer!!!!

its on the market!!!! YIPEE!!!!

well as the title states ....today our house is offically on the market!!! YAY!!! now come on perspective buyers....BUY IT!!! =) i know ill be sad leaving this house....it was our first "home" ....the one we brought our children home to for the very first time, my two wiener dogs are buried in the back and we were much younger when we bit the bullet and bought...brian 19 and me 20...wow that seems ages ago!! but as our family is requiring more/different room it is time to move on and that is exciting. although might i add that we are having it painted on the outside and a new water heater put in before we go...oh and NEVER buy whirlpool...ill say that forever....grrrrrr.... but it will be nice for the new owners to have this stuff done. i wish i could take my trees...oh how ill miss those trees...and the yard out back. when we moved in it looked like a dust bowl out there with like one lone stick for a tree in the middle. but now it is covered in beautiful green grass and that little stick has grown quite a lot in the 7 1/2 years we have been here. i just hope and pray that the Lord sends us good ppl to own this little house and that they have as many good memories here as we did. Thank you Lord for a wonderful time here and i can for sure say that im leaving with more blessings than i had !!!!! =0)

It's Time

its time....well...its been time for awhile. time that is for a different house. this house has been a great one and served us well, and if it were set up differently ...perhaps would still work. but it is just NOT toddler friendly. it has a den and an living room and im sad to report that poor little lane's room is IN the living room since the 3rd bedroom is all the way across the house. which will not work for kaelynn either since she is only 2. so we have started the process of packing up everything that we dont need on a daily basis and off to storage it is going. we are talking to our realtor tomorrow to "get the ball rolling" so to speak...and im excited!! it will be so different this time when we buy as we have to consider a "family" and not just us and our dogs. and it is AWESOME to go into the home buying process with a leg up so to speak and by that i mean that we have equity!! yea!!! money in our house instead of none!!! oh that is such a blessing!!! we went looking today and actually found a really nice one with a pool...and it is plenty big!! like 2600 sq ft!!!! woof!!! but is has great trees and that is a big thing to us. as we will be giving up our 3 BEAUTIFUL live oaks!!!! oh i love those trees!!!! i wish i could take them with me. so please pray that God will lead us in the right direction as i know He will. =) i cant wait to see what lies on the horizon!!

gDiapers=GREAT!!

just an fyi for those of you out there that may think san angelo is no where near as eco friendly as some of the other towns in texas---our HEB has these diaper liners!! i was a first in shock...then ticked since i paid shipping for something i could have driven 5min to pick up, but who would have thought? certainly not me. anyway i got my little starter kit in the mail for these and i have to say...im in love. they fit lane so well, are so much better for poor, overworked mother earth and are sooo stinkin cute!!! im looking forward to buying more colors of the cloth outside and buying the cloth inserts to try....and im tellin everyone i see or know who has kids or is expecting...check these out mamas....you will save in the end!!

just also a quick note to thank our service men and women out there on this our nation's birthday, but might i also add thank you Brian!!! for working hard at keeping our city safe and by that keeping your family safe. by working all that overtime....i think police officers are overlooked sometimes which is sad since they are the first line of defense here at home. so thanks honey for the job you do it is very appreciated.

cloth diapers=eco friendly but will it be gesch friendly?

well its offical....im REALLY going green!! ive done the recycle cans and plastic and glass....i figure im bringing more ppl into this world i want it to be around for them. and now ive decided that we will be recycling paper too, but that's not it.....now after having a kid for 2 years ive decided to give cloth diaper a try. it cant hurt right? only there's a catch to the ones im trying...they are called gDiapers...and that little catch just happens to be that they have a cloth outside but a nice little flushable...that's right flushable...insert!!! yeehaw!!! i wish i would have known then what i know now. and the beauty of them is that they can also be converted to all cloth by buying the cloth inserts which would save even more money in the end. im also doing it since lane will still be in diapers for a while and i hope to have more children at some point so they will be used again. they have not come in yet so i will be sure to post my findings but i am excited!!! i will be helping the environment that much more!!

7 months has gone by so quick

how is it that time flies faster and faster these days? its like i blink and a week has gone by. kaelynn is becomming quite the little talker....more and more words are going together which only means she is getting older and older.... the other day we were eating a Bonsai Garden and when we got out of the car to go in she saw the dresses in the window at Korona's ....she started in with "me cute, me cute, me cute!!" and was practically screaming it across the parking lot!!!! finally after our mini meltdown we were able to go in only with a promise to visit the store after eating....sure enough as soon as we walked out...since both parking lots were like totally empty....she saw those dresses again and off she goes. Brian looked at me "do i seriously have to take her in there?" i told him "dont you dare!!! just let her look at the window, i dont want to have to pay for some $300 dress she somehow manages to destroy!!!" so over to the window they went...she still wanted to go in and even tried to pull on the door when he told her they were closed, but alas she finally gave up. man i knew having a girl would be expensive, i just didnt think the lure of tafta and beads would turn heads at 2!!! oh how i was wrong!!

so its like 2:30am right now and i remember 7months ago i was anxiously awaiting going to the hospital for my induction. i had been praying prior to that day that i would go into labor on my own...that has always been a dream of mine since i have had to be induced with both of the kids cause of GDM. only this time, unlike with kaelynn, at about 1:30 am i started having contractions. i would have TOTALLY hopped in the car and gone in, except the stupid things wouldnt get regular!! ugh....oh well i know i would have had Lane that day anyway since they were starting and my water broke before dr wilson got there to break it anyway. but just a little of pit and at 10:58am (with a very bruised face, from an obviously fast delivery) he was here!!! all 8lbs 14oz!!! woof...and might i add only 3 or 4 pushes!!! =) now he is over 19lbs!! all breastfed and a total chunk!! and i love every inch of him!! he is trying sooo very hard to crawl and loves to laugh...these are some of the best moments ever!! poor kaelynn tries to hold him but that is pretty much gone now, since he is so huge he practically squashes her!! they are adorable together!! Thank you Lord for a wonderful 7months and my beautiful family!! Im soooo very blessed!!!

it's CrAzY!!!!

im truly amazed at how many ppl you can find on the internet from your past. just yesterday a friend from elementary school saw my picture and actually REMEMBERED me?!?! how is that? i thought it was wonderful ....as i was desperatly trying to remember her from all those years ago. WOW!!!

yesterday kaelynn fell off of her chair and not only hit her head on the tile floor but before that hit her chin on the table on the way down. geez...why must children insist on climbing? i have told her and told her not too, perhaps this time she will remember the goose egg on her forehead and swollen eye? but then again probably not. she is gone today over to MaryKay's house for a preschool date with Ashtyn...and the house is oddly quiet....yes im sharing her, but i still like her here the best. we'll see how this goes.

Lane's first tooth finally came poking through the other day...wow he is getting so old. (he's already big) and he wants to crawl so bad but cant yet however he has found his own little way of crawling around....he drags himself with his arms on his tummy...it is hilarious...he looks like a little zombie or something.....and he can get around too...all the way across the living room floor!!! its fixin to get even crazier around here im sure!!!

today was frustrating and rewarding...

ok the title says it all!!! there must have been a bell that went off in kaelynn's head today that pronounced it national 2yr old be a brat day!!! whew....it was constant!!! she threw 2 huge fits--you know the screaming, crying "no no no"--ones in target and at the mall.....grrrr....then it was just the little things, everything i told her not to do-she did and everthing that would have been ok was drama and she needed my full undivided attention to. woof!!! im beat to say the least. i know everything will be back to normal tomorrow!!

ever since about last tuesday she has been putting words together like crazy!! its like she has realized she can talk and now doesnt know when to be quiet. not that i want her to be....its just funny to listen to her little conversations, and if we dont understand what she is trying to say she gets SOOO frustrated with us and only gets louder and her incomprehensible sentencing..... =) silly girl

today lane actually lunged towards me while brian was holding him and he was fussing!!! wow....even brian said "welp i guess that means he wants you" and he is getting quite good at scooting himself around on the floor even trying to get up on his knees although he is not quite strong enough yet. today i noticed that his bottom two front teeth are finally breaking through the gum line....i can see just the tiniest of white...so i know that toothless grin is shortlived and i know i will miss it when it is gone. just one more reminder of just how quickly they grow up.

our zoo experience

Last weekend was our first trip as a family (another words with Lane) to go on a mini vacation. and although it was just over the weekend...that was enough at the time. We were originally going to Ft. Worth for Calob's wedding and decided a few weeks back that we would take the kids to the zoo and do some shopping since we were going to be up that way. Last year after our trip to the SA zoo Shanda had told me to check out the FW zoo...she said it was tons better and much cooler. wow she was right. I have to say that the drive up went well...the kids slept most of the way, the only thing that was difficult about the whole thing was the fact that everyone (including us) were off their schedule....we keep such odd hours that it just cant happen when we go out of town...i mean the zoo doesnt stay open till 10pm!!!! so kaelynn was cranky at times but nothing that i wouldnt already expect given the circumstances. Gail went with us so that she could help me with the kids during the wedding--well that was the original plan however when we got there i decided just to keep the kids at the hotel since they were tired and i was too and i couldnt imagine tryin to keep them still and quiet in church ...they had already done so much sitting so far. Sunday we were up at the crack of dawn (8 am but that is WAY early for all of us) and made it to the zoo by 9:30...they werent even open yet but that gave me a chance to feed lane and get everything ready. it was so beautiful there. i would encourage anyone contmeplating a zoo trip to go to ft. worth, so green and they had waterfalls EVERYWHERE!!! kaelynn liked the monkey exhibit the best i think. well and the one where they had different shells in a boat with water and she could touch all of them. she also got to feed the birds which was fun. they were totally EXHAUSTED after that and they slept all the way until ballinger!! Lane did really well too. we were all soooo tired when we got home and the next day kaelynn didnt get a nap and all she did was cry and cry and cry and cry....i finally put her to bed at 6:30pm ... 6:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and she slept until 9am the next day!!!!!!!!!!! WOW....no supper or nothing ... she barely got a bath...she had been out at the ranch with brian so i did make sure i hosed her off, since they had sprayed OFF on her, but still.....i just couldnt believe how much she slept but i have no doubt that some of that was her playing catch up from the weekend. but all is well now. and i cant wait to go back!!!!

perhaps a blessing in disguise....

ok so our trip to the zoo went good, still recovering or i would write more about it. i promise there will be more to come in the following days. just a quick note to say that im soooooooooo very thankful for my wonderful family. Kayleigh Freeman passed away 5-11-09...her dad blogged about it... http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com please read if you get a chance. im prayin for this family...i know they will need a lot of prayers. they never got to take their baby home, but God did bless them with the ability to hold her with no wires or tubes and she got to feel the outside air, two simple things i know everyone takes for granted. im glad i started following her story. it makes me remember when i get frustrated with my own two kids that im blessed to do just that, be frustrated with them. Thank you Lord for my blessings that you have given me and please be with this family in their time of need.

a dr visit for me

ok so today was my doctor visit...i must say i do hate them. i think my least favorite part has to be the weighing in part...i mean...cant we just skip that? must i always step on the scale, it is just depressing. back in january we had decided i would come in at this time to get some prelim lab done just to see where im at when im not preggy. everything came back good or better which was great!!! except my LFT's (liver function tests) ...everything else with my liver looks great so she was stumped as to why they would be high at like 136..i think norms are like 70-90...but she said this just may be where you run and since i have nothing to compare it to we would just do a follow up in month, no visit, just lab. yay!! i also asked about going back on glucophage since it helped me to loose so muc weight before i got pregnant with kaelynn and that the ob had put me on it after i delievered her to help keep it off, and she was like "well......(apprehensive) i guess that would be ok, do you have PCOS?" (ugh yeah read my chart!!) yes.....i said, if you dont want to ill talk to wilson about it, he didnt have a problem the first time. to which she replied "well.....i just dont want you getting pregnant, that would not be a good thing" (ummmm ..... DUH!!!!) yeah i dont want another kid right now, thats true, but i DONT want to gain another 40lbs either!!!!! that was hard as hell to pull off and all i have to do is just look at food and instant 5lbs are added...not to mention that breastfeeding increases my appitite like no bodys business!!! it was frustrating to hear, but im checking with wilson to see if he will put me on it cause you could just tell she was uncomfortable, oh well. we will see what happens...

The INSANE drama of a 2yr old!!!

OMG!!!!! if i have said that once today.....ive said it a hundred times!!!! today was filled with drama drama and more drama....from none other than my little drama llama!!!! kaelynn had to cry about EVERYTHING!!! i once read that a two year old wears their feelings on their shirt sleeve....that was very true today. for some reason she has decided that the potty is not for her. OH HELL NO!!!! we are hitting potty training HARD....so mom has become the mop queen!! thank God i have tile floors and its warm...oh yeah and a new energy efficient washer and dryer...cause i was panties around here like CrAzY now!!! and especially today!!! for the last few days she has had a hard time. my mom says to blame the weather...she has told me that when i was potty training both my sister and i had problems on cloudy days....shes not sure why but we always had many more accidents on those days. it was just a wake up call b/c she had been doing soooo well. i think part of her crying is b/c when lane crys he gets picked up and fed, hugged, something.....soooo that is her way of getting attention....geez like she doesnt get it all the time anyways. then we had to watch Little Einsteins (just the singing entrance mind you) like a billion times ....i know the words by heart now, thank you DVR!!!!! ugh!!!!!! i was ready to get out of the house!! so as soon as brian got up at 8pm (cause he had court today) i said...you get her and im taking lane w/ me to walmart. i get home...no bath, no food, and i get told "well she went in the potty twice for me just fine..." GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was sooooooooo ready for it to be bedtime....here comes 11:15pm....put her in bed...after a little ordeal of NO NO NO NO NO.....with her new pooh bear mine you...yes i thought of her at walmart. then about 10min later i hear her door open...and here she comes peekin around the corner....i was feeding lane..."go get in your room!" (woke lane up...crying...) so i put him down as i hear her door close and i walk in there and go to open it....LOCKED!!!!! OMG!!!! and she is screaming cause she knows what she did!!! oh the drama continued....called brian to find out we did have a key...note to self...new door knob with no lock coming soon....opened the door to crocdile tears....put her back in bed, tucked her in....came out finished feeding lane and just laid him down...........EXGHAUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .........im sooo enjoying the peace and quiet.....well except that forensic files is on the tv in the background.....

venting from frustration....

why is it children decide to get sick or not feel good or whatever right when its time to go to work? and why is it in this society it seems to be all about that almighty dollar? and while im on the complain train, why is it that i seem to be sooo much more in tune with my kids than i fear brian ever will be--and the answer cant just be b/c he's a male!! once again im at work and my thoughts turn to lane at home. first time he's sick and where am i? shannon.... where do i need to be ?? home i with my baby. i hate the fact that we depend on my pay check just enough that it would be a huge inconvience if i went to part time or prn. and i know thats both brian and my fault. there are "ways" we could cut back, but it would be drastic from the life we have now....but dont think it hasnt crossed my mind more than once. and we might be able to do it w/o selling the house, but it would sure be tight. and that is the selfish part of me....i want more for my kids. i remember how tight it was growing up with mom staying home with us. i remember how we were not the "norm" family b/c mom stayed with us and most of the other kids--both their parents worked. but dont get me wrong ... i loved that my mom was able to go to EVERYTHING. she was ALWAYS there for us b/c she never had a boss to answer to. As it is with nursing i will be able to be there for the kids alot of the time b/c of the schedule i choose to keep. espcially if i stay on at the hospital where there is shift work. but when they are sick i do wish i had the luxury of being able to stay with them...i mean isnt that when you need YOUR mama....when you dont feel well?? and lane hates the bottle so much that not only does my baby not feel well, he's hugery too b/c he isnt eating like he would if i was there. oh i have to stop .... im gonna start crying and that would not be a good thing to do since i still have 8 1/2 hrs before i can be with him.......

Ear Infection

blah....that is what i think of ear infections.....but i am glad it was that trivial thus far. went to see dr. sawyer yesterday, after running fever for a day, and that was the verdict. something told me it would be since about two weeks ago he was stuffy for a few days....now the rest of it has just decided to kick in. red throat and all....but nothing a little ammoxicillin cant clear up im sure. he is also gaining well as usual--17lbs 10oz...wow!!!! big little boy i have. so much so that our new FAVORITE toy is a jumperoo!!! i found it at noah's ark (i hate buying toys they are sooo expensive for the short time used) and it was a cute little rainforest edition by Fisher Price--$45 and looks really good!!! i was so proud!!! and he REALLY goes to town in that thing!!! he is such a mover and a shaker anyway....hmmmm wonder what the weight limit is....
Kaelynn practically tried to give him whiplash today by pushing the seat on it in really quick....man if he can survive his older (smaller) sister this boy can get through anything!! she already poked both of her fingers in his eyes (mind you she got both of them on two seperate days) which now means we have lovely green drainage we are treating with gentamycin drops.....ugh.....but to her defense she was just trying to show me his eyes.....i mean come on mom he's only 5 months old, i didnt think you had seen his eyes yet...let me point to them..i mean poke at them for you!!!! GEEZ!!!!! oh well, he's doing good considering i know he does not feel well...although brian has already called tonight with the typical "he wont eat" business....sometimes (well alot of the time) i just wish i didnt HAVE to work!!!!!!!!!

Im so blessed!

Lane is 5 months!! wow....Kaelynn is 2...double wow!!! and im so thankful that they are healthy and happy!!! I have started following a new blog--Kayleigh Anne Freeman--is was on my cafemom site and i checked it out and read her story....WOW!!! i am even more thankful for my healthy children!! you should check it out... kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com ... it will totally make you thankful for healthy term delieveries...she was born weighing 1lb 1oz, 3 mo early from severe IUGR and preeclampsia...she is now 10mo old and has suffered a stroke or something as of just days ago....they were getting close to bringing her home and still plan to but she will never make purposful movements, talk, walk, or anything like that. trust me just read her story, pray and thank God.....

my little girlie is the big 2!!!!

well the title states it all!!! Kaelynn turned the big 2 last saturday...i know if ive said it once ive said it a 1000 times but seriously...where has the last two years gone? she had a great party with the family...complete with Pooh cake and Pooh balloon (i hate winnie the pooh!! j/k but he really isnt my fav cartoon) but she loves him and that stinkin balloon plays happy birthday and its in pooh's voice!! oh yippie and thanks daddy!!!!! she went to see dr sawyer on wed and true to form we were told once again that "she's soooo skinny!!!" 22lbs 8oz...at this rate lane will outweigh her by like July!!!! so she was in the 4% for weight and since she was 35" long she was in the 80% for height!!! and her head is huge as always at 19.5"!!!! she still has her murmur which dr sawyer told me again was "innocent" and reassured me that she could potentially have it her entire life and he would not be worried since her echo looked ok. i dont really like that especially since he told me in the beginning "it will probably go away by 1 year" but oh well....ill just keep an eye on it at home. so other than staying on whole milk for all the calories we can get and trying to fatten up where we can we are good to go and go back at 3yrs!!! yea!!!
I just have to brag on how well she is doing with the potty!!! today i put her in a pull up to go running around in town. usually she treats it like a diaper but since about 2 days ago hasnt been. shes kept it dry and says "peepee or teetee" and i say "ok hold it hold it" and she is soooooooo cute by repeating "hold it hold it" all the way to the potty!!! i think in the last 2-3 days she has maybe had 3-4 accidents and has been telling me the majority of the time when she needs to go. today i was feeding lane and brian was playing his X-box and i looked up to hear the potty flushing and kaelynn walking back in carring her potty bowl!! she had gone and dump/flushed her pee in the toliet!!! holy cow!!! at first i was like..."what did she just flush?!?!" then i was like "good job baby!!" "now brian go close the door" =) i hope lane is this easy....i keep waiting for that other shoe to drop....so far so good!!! Thank you Lord for such a wonderful, happy and blessed 2 years!!!!!

her BIG girl bed...

Kaelynn finally slept in her big girl bed!! i was so proud....of course it was dad who had to put her in it for her to stay and not throw a fit and cry but it worked!! i decided to get out of the house with lane on wed and he called me saying that kaelynn was taking a nap in her bed and so far was not crying!! i was elated!!! yea!! i got home and that night i put her to sleep in her big girl bed all the while talking it up...and she didnt fight me at all!! Yipee!!! ....i was so excited in fact that about an hour later i remembered i had put her to bed in her panties and not a diaper YIKES!!! so here i go creeping in her room at like 12:30 at night to check her and yes .....she was wet, the bed was wet, her night gown....the works!! but i was able to change everything and slip a diaper on w/o her knowing it till it came to her nightgown....kind of scary how sound kids sleep....now mind you i just put a thick blanket under her...i didnt like strip her bed or anything =) its like my baby has become miss toddler overnight!!! she is consistently eating now, potty training like a pro and sleeping in her big bed....geez....i hope lane is this easy....however im sure he will be my little obstical. it would only seem to reason, i dont know that you are suppose to luck out on 2 of your children. she is picking up every word too it seems....we were over at ashtyn's house monday and came home saying "mine mine mine mine mine" to which i promptly replied "no ma'am we do not say that word, mommy does not like that word" yeah that caused some tears....she has said it once or twice since then and i just ignore her ....she has figured out that if she acts out or does something she knows i dont like it will get her attention....so i just ignore her and soon she stops...heheheh two can play that little game. oh the joys of children...they constantly keep me guessing!!! =)

we are rockin!!!!

potty training is going sooooooo well!! in fact today she said "peepee" and i said ok "hold it hold it..." so we are moving quickly to the potty that adorns my living room floor and she had only gone just a little bit, not even enough to mess up the pants she was wearing just the panties and she immediatly went on the potty!! brian called me on thurs and said that he was watching tv paying no attention to her and she went over to her potty, pulled down her panties and went poop!!! i was sooooooo excited!! how great!!! i know this is kind of crazy for me to be blogging on but im just so proud of her!

Lane has somehow be able to manuver his little chubby leg all the way up to his mouth and his new favorite chew toy is his big toe!! it is actually very funny when he is doing it b/c he's just goin to town sucking away on that big ole toe.....funny boy!! the new bottle has gone "ok" but still fights it at times. i think one of the reasons is he is teething and the other (and biggest) is he is just a mama's boy plain and simple!! oh well...this too shall pass....

kaelynn will be turning 2 next saturday...how is that? how has 2 years flown by so quickly? she is such a blessing to us and im so happy that i had the kids as close as i did...even if every now and then i wonder ...im reminded why when they are both looking at each other and litterally making each other laugh...and he will look right at kaelynn and just grin from ear to ear!! its amazing to see and i TOTALLY love it!!!

Happy Easter to everyone!! i hope yours is as blessed as mine will be!!

potty training finally!!!

yesterday i would say i hit it hard with the potty training. i just put panties on kaelynn and went at it. she's by no means perfect (thank God i have tile floors and a good mop, plus 2 packs of panties =) but has since then learned when she feels the need to pee which was an improvement. no pull ups as she thinks they are just her diaper so they are ok to go in... so far i have found as long as i put her on there every 20-30 min the accidents have decreased and whereas yesterday she only said peepee once and then went today she has said it like 3 times!!! and both days i havent even been able to start in the mornings b/c i have had to have running around to do so its always been after her nap. tomorrow i hope to start from the time she gets up until she goes down!!! kid will probably be potty trained before she gets out of that crib of hers!!! she is not fond of her big girl bed, but like it or not shes gonna have to get out b/c lane is getting too heavy for the pack n play!! she is eating GREAT!!! i cannot keep this kid full!! its like she is making up for the past year that she hasnt eaten well!!! whatever the reason im just glad she has finally kicked it into high gear!!!

we got lane's new bottle in today. its called the Adiri bottle and kuddos to lindsay for reccomending it!!! lane took one really good feeding from it and the other one he did ok, i dont think he was really hungery so he was playing more than anything!!! its crazy that for the two of them it was $22 but if they work its worth ANYTHING!!! also got him a woozit!! the craziest looking toy that he totally loves!!! taking a little bit of rice cereal too and he seems to be doing ok, but if this bottle works for thurs, will probably not worry too much about the cereal....even though sawyer said that he doesnt think it will affect his wt too much, i just have a feeling that he is gonna be more prone to have issues with his wt so i dont want to add to the problem by starting solids too early!! we shall see....

not all soap is tear-free

as the title states...kaelynn learned a very valuable lesson....when mommy says "no thats my soap" she means it!!! i came back to the tub to find kaelynn crying and holding my bar soap in one hand and rubbing her eyes with the other!! she knows she is not suppose to mess with that soap but i guess the curiousity finally got to her ....needless to say since then she has not decided to play with that soap. Lane is cutting teeth!! i finally felt his two bottom ones amongst all the drool they have not cut through yet but it is just a matter of time!! im awaiting a new bottle for him...its called the Adiri bottle and im hoping it will be our savior!! it should get her tomorrow so im saying prayers already for thurs!!!

He is just doing soooo well!!!

what can i say mr lane is just doing sooooo great!!! yesterday was his pedi appt for his 4 mo check up and he weighed in at a ginormous 16lbs 7.5oz!!! and he is 25.5in long!!! so he has grown two inches and gained like 3lbs in 2months....wonderful breastmilk i tell ya!!! the only downer to the appt was that dr sawyer thinks he my have a hydrocele (down around the "boys") which he said if it doesnt close by one year he may have to have surgery. he said awww dont worry...most of them close and he doesnt think its a hernia b/c he was able to shine a light through it and see clear fluid and no bowel. so he said we would just watch it. you can totally tell ive been used to a girl cause i thought it was just a little fat pouch cause hes so chubby!!! oops!!! i told him this was the first time he had ever mentioned it and he just said thats ok that we would just watch it!! so of course i go home and google it!! i did the same thing when he told me about kaelynn's heart murmur....and i was very glad to see that it is extremely common 1 in 10 boys are born with it and 80-90% of them close by age 1. wheeew....he has been very cranky (at least for him with me) tonight and i cant tell if it was shots or a touch of what brian had (being the tummy bug going around) but i hope it is better by tomorrow...first time he has EVER refused to nurse for just a short while!! still gonna not offically start solids. ive decided to let brian try on just thurs some rice cereal since those are the HELL nights around here. im thinking maybe that will help instead of him fighting the bottle so bad. we shall see.

Meanwhile trying to keep kaelynn fed these days is a chore!! she ate almost an ENTIRE can of the gerber veggie puffs last night while watching winnie the pooh!!! she seriously is on a growth spurt and has turned into my little piglet while lane fits the description on pooh more . im happy though...ive worried about her eating habbits and weight for so long...looks like she is just making up for lost time.

Lane is 4months

Today Lane is 4 months!! just a quick note to remind myself how blessed i am to have the two wonderful healthy kids that i do ...who right now absolutly ADORE each other. kaelynn loves to "hold" lane and he smiles all the time when he sees her especially when she is coming at him with kisses upon kisses. i only hope they always love each other as they do now. even though i know they will have their moments...i hope they always realize how lucky they are to have each other!! Thank you Lord for a wonderful 4 months and a very Blessed 2 years!!! im sooooo lucky!!! =)

can it really be?

I cant believe that on tues lane will be 4 months old and in less than a month kaelynn will be 2!!! seriously where has the time gone? i knew time flew with kealynn but i just dont know where it has gone with lane. on saturday i took a walk around the block with the kids. it was our first walk in our twin stroller and i totally loved it!!! we used it once a few weeks ago at the mall but kaelynn was not interested in riding then...all she wanted was to be down and run around but the other day she was perfactly content to set there and just watch as things went by. the only thing that i dont like about that stroller is it is heavy!! otherwise i would be more apt to take it to the mall with the kids by myself but it is bulky to manuver when im just not in the mood. i have finally decided on what to get kaelynn this year for her birthday...we are in dier need of outside toys so .... a sandbox and barbie powerwheels 4-wheeler is what i have come up with. i know she is going to love them. that child absolutly LOVES to be outside which im happy about just in need of things to entertain her besides digging in the ant bed like i found her doing today....Geez!!! it will be fun i know that...she can already tell me 2!!! when asked hold old she is and knows the word birthday!! i just wish time wasnt going by so fast....i know that is the selfish part of me saying that but its what i really feel. i know one day ill blink and ill be setting at her graduation wondering where the last 18years have gone. i can truly appreciate everything my mother always said!!! one of her sayings was "child you're growing so fast i need to put a brick on your head"....o the wisdom of mothers!!!

A heavy heart...

First of all this is a prayer request for Sharon's family. Here is the story so far...

my great friend sharon that works at the nsy with me has a niece--Bridget. well this summer she found out that she was going to be having a baby in march...we were so excited...just one more to add to the list of ppl we knew were going to be delivering this spring!! and of course sharon was goin to be at the delivery!! it seems every year for the past 3 years or so someone in one of our families or one of our really close friends would be delievering so naturally we (we being me and sharon) were totally excited for bridget and her family. everything was going great until december...that's when it started...when bridget was 27 weeks to be exact...she started trying to go into labor. she had to be on procardia and bedrest...made it to 31wks where they told her "you wont make it another 2 weeks" and again by the grace of God and good self control (bed rest) she did...started trying again at 34wks to go into labor and again was warded off. she finally made it to 37 where she was able to come off the med and bedrest and then wouldnt ya know the little stinker had to be induced last week at 39!!! sharon and i were thrilled though b/c she had defied her odds and kept that baby in 12 weeks longer!!! so sharon was at the delivery...baby bryce didnt like the pit so they had to turn it off, bridget was already a 5 when she came in and that little bit of pitocin just threw her into labor...yea!!! then baby bryce didnt like pushing so the poor little guy had to have help out with forceps....geez!!! but when he got here we were soooo happy ... last thurs i finally got to meet bridget and tony and this side of sharon's family i had heard about for so long and i was soooo excited to be helping them through the night and weekend!! they are truly wonderful ppl and were sooo very excited about their new and first little boy together!!! it was a tough few days breastfeeding as he was very sleepy but we were working through it....i left sun morning after my last shift for the weekend and i told them both "ok im not back till thurs so yall better be home and lovin on this little guy by then" i remember them both agreeing with me and smiling and bridget thanking me for all of my help...it was truly my pleasure!! the best part of my job!!!

.......sharon calls me mon afternoon in tears "they are shipping bryce to san antonio--he has a hole in his heart." i was like "WHAT!!!!!!!" first im thinkin what did i miss? what happened in the 24+ hrs since i had seen them?!?!?!?! thats all she really knew and was headed to shannon so i told her to let me know more when she could. sure enough she got there and they already had the team coming from Methodist Children's in San Antonio....i just couldnt believe it. to make an extreamly long story a little shorter the did another sono on tues morning at SA and things have just gone from bad to worse....apparently the name for everything he has going wrong with him is Shone's Couplex (not misspelled) He has a Coarchtation of the Aorta, a very large VSD (hence the hole in heart) a PDA (another hole) a hypoplastic left ventricle and two of the valves (one being the mitral valve) are messed up. lets just say one of the opitions they were given was a heart transplant!! and one of the surgeries they cant do until he is like 15-16yrs cause they have to use sm adult valves!!! he has a 70% chance of making it until he is 20 and that is with at least 5 more surgeries after the open heart surgery he is gonna have on friday

....the cardiac specialists in SA said it was a Great find by dr wehner--that had it not been found bryce would have died at 1 month. they will have to be in SA for at least a month. I just feel soooo increadibly sorry for this family and sharon. poor bridget fought so hard to not go into preterm labor b/c she wanted to be able to take her baby home with her from the hospital when she went and he has never gotten to go home. it has gone from a week ago thinking you're goin into have your baby, spend a couple of days in the hospital and coming home to --not knowing what you're next move is and that your baby as of this point has a 70% of living till he's 20!!! i cant even begin to comprehend what they are all going through. i couldnt imagine having my 8 day old under go open heart surgery. they said bryce is strong...that typically they are alot sicker then he is....i guess that would be a sm light in their extremly dark tunnel.

Then i look at my children and i THANK GOD!!!!!! i dont know how many times since monday i have just stopped and said "thank you Lord!!" it totally puts a whole different perspective on things....Please please please keep this baby and family in your prayers. they have an extremly long road ahead of them with many twists and turns im sure....this would have to be the part of my job that i hate and have a hard time understanding. i know the Lord will never give you more than you can handle but sometimes i know i wonder....

my little bitter!!!

one would think from the title of this post that Lane has teeth now and is bitting....WRONG!!! on the contrary it is Kaelynn who has decided the thing to do is to bite her brother....finger, hand and belly!!! Ouch!! she is so sneaky about it too that i dont know its happening until Lane let's out a howl and starts screaming and kaelynn looks at me with a totally GUILTY face...and she Hates to say she's sorry....so after many tears and wanting to get in my lap (i wont let her until she says it) she finally will say aorry through her sobs..i guess it is just a phase she is going through so i hope it ends soon.

Lane is a rollin...

Yesterday Lane rolled over from his back to his tummy!! It was so cute...i couldnt believe he was able to get his fat butt over!!! but he did and was smiling after he finished!! was it b/c he new he had accomplished something big or could it be seeing his crazy mom smiling and going crazy b/c of his recent accomplishment? probably the latter... =) he is growing so fast...even faster it seems then kaelynn did...there are so many times when i wish i could just freeze time for a while....

Hard times for dad...

Thursdays are well....Hell at the Gesch household. There is really no other way to explain it other than that. Kaelynn was such an EASY baby for Brian. She would suck the paint off the walls if she was hungry and probably even if she wasnt. Breast, bottle, paci, hands, mom's finger, stuffed animal's unexpecting ear (heehee j/k on that last one) ....didnt and doesnt matter that kid has ALWAYS been a sucker fish and never picky about what. Lane on the other hand...such a BREAST baby!!!! he LOVES to breastfeed and fights the bottle. Sooooo when i work my 3 12's and then am off for 4 days with him....it is a hard first day back for everyone concerned. Kaelynn has now figured out what work means--time away from mommy. I hate leaving b/c i feel like im doing something wrong even though financially it is necessary--still sucks having to walk out that door for 12hrs. Lane knows thurs all too well and the evening is spent SCREAMING and fighting the bottle and Brian is left at home to deal with a 2yr old and screaming 3 1/2 month old!!! and about to pull what little hair he has out im sure. I know that part of Lane's problem has to be that it is my first night away...part has to be that he has to have a bottle and cant just "graze" you might say as he does the rest of the time...and part i KNOW has to be that he can sense all of Brian's frustration, anger, uneasiness....
Sat and Sun with my MIL and mom he does fine....takes the bottle fine, goes to bed, no complaints what so ever...
I guess what makes thurs even worse is that i call home to a frustrated husband who's voice is very edgy, my kaelynn who wants to talk to mommy and a screaming lane in the background who i cant come through the phone to comfort. i remember christie's baby not wanting to take the bottle and les having to bring him to the nsy for christie to feed...and lindsey's baby was the same way...she said that rick would get so frustrated with grant b/c he would fight the bottle and not eat while lindsey was at work. lane just shuts down when im not there--proof of that is my freezer FULL of milk!! with kaelynn i had milk enough from week to week...i have over 50 4 oz bags in my freezer!!! b/c he just doesnt eat from the bottle like he does from me. dont get me wrong better to have too much than too little...its just proof that he is such a breast baby and the struggle he goes through on a weekly basis. i wish things would be better for brian...that he would look forward to thurs for bonding time on his own with the kids instead of dreading them ...but i just dont know what else to do. i pray the Lord will give him patience and i know it will get better, that it will just take time, but oh what a test for him right now.....
Sometimes i guess you just need a mommy and nothing or no one can substitute!!!

storing for winter or spring?

OMG!!! today kaelynn ate and ate and ate...and when i thought she was done she ATE some more!!! what is going on? and here i thought ppl ate to store up for winter but in her case i guess we are storing for spring....either that or there is like 6 more months of winter im not aware of out there. of course in west texas i dont know that "winter" is in our vocabulary. especially since the majority of February was spent in the 70's and 80's!!! it is wonderful to see her eat though....we are really going to have a problem with pants if she doesnt. she has all the length of a 2 year old and therefore requires 24mo or 2T clothing in the length department, however she is sooo stinkin skinny she easily fits into 18mo around....PROBLEM!! her pants fall down!!! since with shorts length isnt too much of an issue ive been able to fit her pretty well, however she keeps on this eating spree and we are going to have to buy new ones before "summer" even arrives!! =) oh well... perhaps she's just playing catch up with her brother who is gaining on her very fast!! whatever the reason it is great!!

Lane started laughing ... really laughing on the 9th!! it was so wonderful to see and hear!! i love those baby laughs...when you have no care in the world and you get so much joy out of just seeing the ones you know the best smile and talk to you. he is so cute with kaelynn...she'll walk up to him and start talking to him and he just starts smiling and laughing at her...she loves it, i love it....it is precious!! When i see them i truly know why the Lord put me on this earth....and i thank Him so much for all my blessings!!

Lane's Baptism

Today was such a special day in the life of my little boy....today was his baptismal day!! It just happened to fall on the birthday of my very special friend sharon soooo it was just an all around great day--especially since she was his nurse at birth and practically my second mother and right arm at work!! Lane did so well. We were able to get Father Tom--the priest that baptized Kaelynn to do the ceremony again which i was very happy about. Fr. Tom was the priest who also helped with me converting over to the catholic faith...something that has had many mixed feeling about but was made easier b/c of him. Lane didnt cry once...not even when cold water was pored on his head. He just sat there and smiled and coo-ed and had a blast....soaking up all of the attention he was getting. The Lord has blessed brian and I with such wonderful kids....i dont know where to start in thanking Him...but i am and always will be eternally grateful for these (and any future) wonderful beings...I remember a day when i thought we would never get pregnant....i just knew clomid if not invitro was in our future--and those were two things i was terrified of....one reason being the money and the other--multiples....multiples scare the hell out of me!!! ooooo please nooooo!!!! =) But .... perseverance paid off as well as a lot of patience and prayer and im just such a blessed mother!!!! I think it puts a whole different perspective on things when you have trouble getting pregnant...or at least it has in my book....
Now im rambling but its the truth....i see ppl in my line of work that don't appreciate....truly appreciate what God has given them and it makes me angry and sad. They don't care about what they do to themselves or their baby when they are pregnant....they don't think twice about smoking meth or weed or drinking alcohol...CPS is part of their language...something they are accustom to....how sad these kids go to foster care or back to home....And yet today as i stood there holding my beautiful little boy I was reminded that our Lord is forgiving and so loving and that everything happens for a reason even if i may not be able to understand it....Im thankful that we are able to provide a loving home for our children and pray for those who are not so fortunate. I also thank my parents for raising me the way they did...Im so very lucky in so many different ways!!!

Kids are so entertaining....

my children totally take up my day...and i love every minute of it!! i wish many times that i would be able to be a stay at home mom, but also thank God that He has blessed me with a career that is very flexible and realize that with the way i work i practically am anyways...

Kaelynn has decided that food is her friend!! i dont know if she is going through a growth spurt or what but i have noticed over the past 2 weeks that she is eating and eating especially compared to what she normally does. she really is gonna have to in order to keep up with Lane, he'll be able to crush her by the time he is 6 mo!!! she is even eating bread which is such a big step...she would just scrunch her nose up at that the last time i tried. last night when we went to eat she was tearing parts of tortilla off my plate....i didnt care as long as she eats im not picky!! i have to admit ive been worried about her eating ever since she was born. she's always taken so little and of course when we would go to the doctor he gave the spill of "well as long as she is making her own curve im not concerned" but still seeing your child in the 5th percentile .... it always made me wonder....I know she has for sure got that part of brian...he was always little growing up and there are some little ppl on my side of the family as well. Lane on the other hand may just go in the opposite direction. Ive never had a problem with food....well at least not eating it...perhaps that is where my problem is. I know that with PCOS it affects my wt and im glad when dr wilson finally was able to explain why it is soooo terribly easy for me to put on wt but it is still troublesome to live with. i hope Lane does not have that problem, my dad is already worring about him. i am for sure going to exclusively breastfeed him for 6 months if i can so i can at least do my part to cut down on as much of a risk for obesity as i can. i often wonder if mom breastfed me if it would be easier....i guess ill never know but that question does cross my mind.

Lane is getting baptized tomorrow...im so excited!! im going to be sure to post after that!!

Kaelynn is talking and talking...

Im not sure why miss Kaelynn has become so vocal lately, but she has really kicked it up a notch!! She now loves to talk on the phone which i absolutly love when im at work and can call home. I love to hear that "Hi Mama!!" And of course she loves to be outside. Today i caught her setting out by the dog pen just watching Duke and Toby...and it was so precious b/c she had taken her baby doll out there with her and she had set her down right beside her....so they were both watching the dogs!! I have found that since im able to let her go out im able to do somethings with out her totally tied to my legs!! Lane is doing so well..i cant believe he is already 3 months old!! He smiles and "talks" all the time now. He is being baptized on wed which im so excited about!

Last night i attempted to put Kaelynn in her "big girl bed"....and that did not go well at all!! Im not sure what the problem was ...but all she would do is scream and scream so i finally gave in and back to the crib she went. Im thinking we may have to use the toddler side rails on her crib and make the transition slowly. Tonight i asked her if she wanted to sleep in her "big girl" bed and at first she said "ok" but as i walked over to put her in it...she started shaking her head back and forth quickly saying "no no no no" so i didnt fight her on it. i guess that transition is not going to be as easy as once hoped. When i told brian how she reacted he said "good, she's still little she doesnt need to grow up so fast." Ok.....that reaction kind of surprised me. Who knows as much as i would prefer not to go this route we may end up with two cribs after all...