Hard times for dad...

Thursdays are well....Hell at the Gesch household. There is really no other way to explain it other than that. Kaelynn was such an EASY baby for Brian. She would suck the paint off the walls if she was hungry and probably even if she wasnt. Breast, bottle, paci, hands, mom's finger, stuffed animal's unexpecting ear (heehee j/k on that last one) ....didnt and doesnt matter that kid has ALWAYS been a sucker fish and never picky about what. Lane on the other hand...such a BREAST baby!!!! he LOVES to breastfeed and fights the bottle. Sooooo when i work my 3 12's and then am off for 4 days with him....it is a hard first day back for everyone concerned. Kaelynn has now figured out what work means--time away from mommy. I hate leaving b/c i feel like im doing something wrong even though financially it is necessary--still sucks having to walk out that door for 12hrs. Lane knows thurs all too well and the evening is spent SCREAMING and fighting the bottle and Brian is left at home to deal with a 2yr old and screaming 3 1/2 month old!!! and about to pull what little hair he has out im sure. I know that part of Lane's problem has to be that it is my first night away...part has to be that he has to have a bottle and cant just "graze" you might say as he does the rest of the time...and part i KNOW has to be that he can sense all of Brian's frustration, anger, uneasiness....
Sat and Sun with my MIL and mom he does fine....takes the bottle fine, goes to bed, no complaints what so ever...
I guess what makes thurs even worse is that i call home to a frustrated husband who's voice is very edgy, my kaelynn who wants to talk to mommy and a screaming lane in the background who i cant come through the phone to comfort. i remember christie's baby not wanting to take the bottle and les having to bring him to the nsy for christie to feed...and lindsey's baby was the same way...she said that rick would get so frustrated with grant b/c he would fight the bottle and not eat while lindsey was at work. lane just shuts down when im not there--proof of that is my freezer FULL of milk!! with kaelynn i had milk enough from week to week...i have over 50 4 oz bags in my freezer!!! b/c he just doesnt eat from the bottle like he does from me. dont get me wrong better to have too much than too little...its just proof that he is such a breast baby and the struggle he goes through on a weekly basis. i wish things would be better for brian...that he would look forward to thurs for bonding time on his own with the kids instead of dreading them ...but i just dont know what else to do. i pray the Lord will give him patience and i know it will get better, that it will just take time, but oh what a test for him right now.....
Sometimes i guess you just need a mommy and nothing or no one can substitute!!!